Love in Ethiopia

Ethiopia has more than 80 different ethnic groups with different customs and traditions.  Even though there is such a variety traditions, many of the ethnic groups share similar views and values on the topic of love and marriage.

 Ethiopian men and women have very defined roles in society. Traditionally men are responsible for providing for the family and for dealing with family contact outside the house.  Men typically do not cook or shop for household goods because “housework” is viewed as a woman's job.  Women are responsible for domestic work and looking after the children.  Parents are stricter with their daughters and often give more freedom to sons.  This traditional view continues to be held in many areas of the country.

Marriages are often arranged by the parents and take a great deal of negation to make a commitment between the parents.  The boy's parents make contact with the perspective bride's parents through a mediator. The mediator goes to the home of the potential bride and asks if their daughter will marry the son of the other parents. The bride's parents often require conditions and trades; the mediator then takes the message to the groom’s parents, and then arranges a date for both parents to meet at a mutually convenient location. 

The parents then take a great deal of time to investigate up to five or seven generations back between the two families to make sure there is not blood relation because incest in forbidden. 

In many Ethiopian cultures Christian traditions are highly valued, so the bride must be a virgin when the marriage takes place. 

 When the parents have reached an agreement that the son and daughter will wed, they then set a wedding date.  The bride and groom first see each other on their wedding day. Both parents prepare food and drink for the wedding and invite guests.

 The marriage ceremony itself is a huge feast for many guests.  Dancing, music and gifts are all involved in the celebration that takes place at the groom’s house.  The bride’s family gives a dowry to the groom that is typically cases of money or cattle. 

 In rural Ethiopia match making and arranged marriages is still practiced.  The practice of match making and arranged marriages are common across ethnic and religious backgrounds with only small differences.

Many men and women who live in urban areas do not follow this tradition and do not have arranged marriages but it is important to marry someone the family approves of.

 Although many people continue to follow these traditional values, life is constantly evolving including the role of men and women.  

Love in Ethiopia continues to change and evolve, but is never lost.