Love in Iran

سلام,

 Traditionally in Iran people of different sexes are not allowed to be together freely in public.  Women have many restrictions about the dress code in public and around men.  Women have to conceal their faces because they are not allowed to “attract mates.”  Some of the rules about dating and relationships are implicated by the government.

Authorities push a very conservative approach to relationships and look down upon unmarried romantic relationships and encourage traditional match-making, arranged marriages.  Because of the strong traditions wove into the Iranian culture young people believe that if they reject the traditions with short-term relationships, they harm their dignity and those of their family. 

Prospective couples have three different meetings before a relationship can be formed.  The first two meetings are strictly supervised from within the same room where the couple is.  The third and last meeting is a brief get-together that is on the couples own time with just the two of them.  After these series of meetings the couple can either choose to marry each other, or agree to never see each other again.  These meetings are still used today among rural and traditional Iranians to find a partner.  The tradition of the three meetings has recently been showing up in some modern films by Leila Lak, an Iranian filmmaker.

The Iranian government condemns dating and relationships, but it promotes marriage that is accompanied with online courses and courtship classes.   During the classes the couple earns a diploma after taking weekly tests and spending hours educating themselves on the “correct courtship.”  The people of Iran really respect tradition and authority so they tend to keep the customs of the country. 

Today in Iran, there is a large population of young adults under the age of 30.  Many of them are looking towards modern forms of love, but still keep a lot of the traditions just modify it to fit the times.  Marriage is taken very seriously and couples often stay together their whole lives.  Marriages have a level of respect and responsibility that is portrayed throughout their long loving relationship.

عشق

Bonjou!  This week we will be looking at damou, love, in the developing country of Haiti and how relationships and love are viewed there now and in the past.  The culture in Haiti is very traditional compared to those of the United States.

 A visitor to the household never leaves the house empty handed or without a cup of coffee.  Hospitality is very important to keep up a good appearance amongst the community.

The people of Haiti feel very strongly about greeting each other properly, particularly in rural areas.  Often before people even begin a conversation, they say hello several times then engage in further conversation.  Men Shake hands with other men, men and women typically kiss on the cheek and women kiss other women on the cheek also to display friendship. 

Women and men commonly hold hands in public as a display of friendship with the same sex.  Very seldom to men and women in relationships show public affection toward each other, but show affection in private with each other.

Before a relationship begins, young women do not smoke or drink alcohol of any kind, with the exception of festive occasions with family members.  Men typically smoke and drink more often and especially at festivities in the community.  And continue to throughout the relationship. 

 Marriage is expected among the elite and middle classes in Haiti.  Because of the high cost of formal marriage ceremonies, couples regularly live together as man and wife until they are financially able to make their marriage official in either a Christian religious ceremony or in a court of jurisdiction.

In a marriage, the couple works together to become successful as one working body.  Each of the individuals in the relationship takes on different roles that complement each other and that work towards a common goal of success economically and socially. 

Although formal monogamous marital relationships are the norm, in rural Haiti, polygamy is still practiced.  The first wife is the only one that is recognized by government as the legitimate wife and the others are regarded as the man’s mistresses. 

Haitian love and relationships are still much different than countries like the United States but have the respect that is often lacking.  Find that special someone in Haiti may be difficult with the traditions, but definitely not impossible.

"m'swete'w tout bon bagay"

Love in Mexico

Hola, By no means is chivalry dead in Mexico; maybe men in the United States should take some notes on traditional love in Mexico as Valentine’s Day quickly approaches. 

In Mexico many different traditions guide in dating and relationships.  Younger people in large cities are much more influenced by surrounding countries like the United States, and people in more rural areas often hold traditions of Catholic values and customs of the traditional Mexican Families closer. 

Traditionally a relationship starts with the man pursuing a woman they are interested in.  The man asks for the first date and typically plans the date. 

 Dating traditions called “piropeo” and “la serenata” are common in Mexico and other Spanish speaking countries.  “Piropeo” are flirty comments made to women showing affections and interest like “mi amor,” my love, and “guapa,” beautiful or lovely.  “La serenata” is a tradition where a man shows up at his love’s home with a mariachi or guitarist to serenade or sing to his interest.  The man continues to sing until his love interest comes out to meet him.  A woman traditionally lives with her parents until she is married, so if the family does not like the man outside singing, they may toss water on to him to make him go away.  Needless to say, he gets the message pretty quickly. 

Men in Mexico are expected to be romantic and well-mannered around women and other people.  When a man is dating a woman it is customary to present her with flowers, chocolates, stuffed animals, and other tokens of appreciation as part of his affection.  On a date men traditionally pay for the entire meal and entertainment. 

Couples usually marry after a period of formal engagement that can last several years.  A marriage ceremony is often very religious and then after the traditional ceremony, the couple holds a huge and costly party with friends and family celebrating the love between the two people.

 According to everyculture.com, in 1995, the average age for marriage was 24 for men and 22 for women.  Although in Mexico marriage is all about love and romantics, many Mexicans unconsciously look for a partner who can provide social and economic security. 

Mexicans typically prefer modesty and put a great deal of value on appearance of their partner.  A good looking partner is greatly valued and a well-dressed partner is appreciated.

Mexicans tend to be very romantic and come off as very sentimental compared to Americans.  Mexican men are truly lovers and take extremely good care of their partners throughout the dating process and throughout marriage. 

After finding out how much love and passion is apparent in relationships in Mexico, I am definitely thinking about a possible relocation.

“Lost inside your love, When the two of us are one, There's no place I'd rather be, oh no,

disappearing in your love, Wilder than my wildest dreams”

Lost Inside Your Love by Enrique Iglesias